rickrtickr
Well-Known Member
- Member DIN
- S259
This is a bit of an "off my chest" or maybe a venting for myself so please feel free to just disregard.
TL : DR - I have dealt with a lot of loss in the past few years, and the 405th has been a rock that I have been able to stand on.
I have been having a bit of a rough time lately and there have always been things that help to get me though.
I am coming out of a season of life that I would say have made up of the most difficult years I have ever had. Between 2019 and 2023 my 3 remaining grandparents passed away.
It has represented a loss more significant than anything I had experienced before, both for myself and seeing how it has affected my parents.
But increasingly it has struck me what the loss of these members of my family has really impacted. On my mother's side my grandfather was host to nearly every family event. his house built specifically with the intent of his retirement is well suited to allow 30+ people to gather without feeling cramped. I spent nearly every Thanksgiving there with my family and my aunts, uncles, and cousins. but it feels now more like the family "hub" has moved on. My mom will still go up and frequently spend time with her siblings, but the large family gatherings feel like a thing of the past. Mostly due to the fact that I and My cousins have grown and started families, and we have all spread farther apart.
It is a similar story on my dad's side. though his parents never had the security and stability (financially) that My mom's dad did. they had a nice house that hosted most of my dad's side of the family for major events. but they dealt with some significant health issues later in life and were forced to move, first into a single-story duplex and eventually into a smaller nursing home. My grandfather passed away first and it brought to light a side of my dad's family that I didn't know existed with all of his siblings trying to vie for the position of the family head in some way. His funeral was a bit of a circus and was used by my aunts and uncles in this jockeying for position behavior. but even with all that said, nearly 300+ people were there, because of how much my grandfather impacted the people around him for the better.
Then a little more than a year later my grandmother passed away. she had battled with some pretty severe dementia before she passed so to some extent it was a relief that she wasn't suffering anymore. But again the behaviors of my extended family leave me appalled. my aunt who held Power of Attorney had the funeral in the middle of the week, just so that she would be able to make a trip on the weekend for the birth of her step-daughter's baby. As a direct consequence, more than half of my family was unable to get time off to make the funeral.
Ever since then, there has been a running thought in the back of my head that I will likely never see some of my extended family again. without my grandparents (on both sides) to act as the Hub location. There is little to no incentive for everyone to come together anymore. And while I am sure there will be some events where I see some of them. I fully believe that there are many that I won't.
Now with all of the above said, I really am not trying to make this a pitty party. I am just thinking "aloud" so to speak.
I have been on a bit of a nostalgia trip, and reminiscing on days gone by. Friends I had in school and college that I haven't spoken to in years. And the things that I have always managed to come back to in some way or another.
And I landed back here. the 405th.
There have been a few things that have remained "stable" in my life.
My childhood home. where my parents lived my entire life and only recently sold and moved somewhere else.
My schedule and routines. School and College provided spaces where there wasn't a whole lot else to focus on.
Video games. everything from the original Mario Brothers to modern titles. and the people that I play them with.
My hobbies. woodworking, costuming, reading, writing, and drawing.
The 405th represents something to me that is really kind of hard to quantify. but it is one of the few spaces that remains for me that still feels just like it did back in 2011.
The 405th to me is Halo almost more than actually officially produced Halo content. people who have taken a passion so much farther than the average fan ever would. A community of people where no matter your walk of life, background, or political leanings had something in common that everyone cared about more.
And despite a Hiatus that I took starting in 2017. mostly due to the bumpy transition of the 405th after it was acquired. I knew it was still somewhere I could come back to. And I did.
I came back here after some of the hardest years of my life, for the community that was built here. A place that fostered and grew a passion in me for something that in 2011 would have been a pipe dream.
and that community is still here. I have been able to do more and be involved in ways that I never would have expected even just a few years ago. And while I know that there has been some grumblings floating around in private messages. the 405th as a community hasn't changed. and that has helped ground me and push me into the present and the future.
I know that this has been a rather long-winded post. But I just wanted to say thank you to everyone that I have interacted with on the site. You might never really know how much this hobby means, and how your interactions can shape people's lives. But really thank you.
I know I am not going anywhere, and I am expecting that I continue to exemplify the community that I have come to respect so much. I know how hard Life can hit and how fast. Hopefully, life for me can slow down a little for a time, but we will have to wait and see what the future holds. There are projects for me to complete, stories for me to write, and people to help grow.
And I cannot wait for what comes next!
Talk to you guys in the next one!
TL : DR - I have dealt with a lot of loss in the past few years, and the 405th has been a rock that I have been able to stand on.
I have been having a bit of a rough time lately and there have always been things that help to get me though.
I am coming out of a season of life that I would say have made up of the most difficult years I have ever had. Between 2019 and 2023 my 3 remaining grandparents passed away.
It has represented a loss more significant than anything I had experienced before, both for myself and seeing how it has affected my parents.
But increasingly it has struck me what the loss of these members of my family has really impacted. On my mother's side my grandfather was host to nearly every family event. his house built specifically with the intent of his retirement is well suited to allow 30+ people to gather without feeling cramped. I spent nearly every Thanksgiving there with my family and my aunts, uncles, and cousins. but it feels now more like the family "hub" has moved on. My mom will still go up and frequently spend time with her siblings, but the large family gatherings feel like a thing of the past. Mostly due to the fact that I and My cousins have grown and started families, and we have all spread farther apart.
It is a similar story on my dad's side. though his parents never had the security and stability (financially) that My mom's dad did. they had a nice house that hosted most of my dad's side of the family for major events. but they dealt with some significant health issues later in life and were forced to move, first into a single-story duplex and eventually into a smaller nursing home. My grandfather passed away first and it brought to light a side of my dad's family that I didn't know existed with all of his siblings trying to vie for the position of the family head in some way. His funeral was a bit of a circus and was used by my aunts and uncles in this jockeying for position behavior. but even with all that said, nearly 300+ people were there, because of how much my grandfather impacted the people around him for the better.
Then a little more than a year later my grandmother passed away. she had battled with some pretty severe dementia before she passed so to some extent it was a relief that she wasn't suffering anymore. But again the behaviors of my extended family leave me appalled. my aunt who held Power of Attorney had the funeral in the middle of the week, just so that she would be able to make a trip on the weekend for the birth of her step-daughter's baby. As a direct consequence, more than half of my family was unable to get time off to make the funeral.
Ever since then, there has been a running thought in the back of my head that I will likely never see some of my extended family again. without my grandparents (on both sides) to act as the Hub location. There is little to no incentive for everyone to come together anymore. And while I am sure there will be some events where I see some of them. I fully believe that there are many that I won't.
Now with all of the above said, I really am not trying to make this a pitty party. I am just thinking "aloud" so to speak.
I have been on a bit of a nostalgia trip, and reminiscing on days gone by. Friends I had in school and college that I haven't spoken to in years. And the things that I have always managed to come back to in some way or another.
And I landed back here. the 405th.
There have been a few things that have remained "stable" in my life.
My childhood home. where my parents lived my entire life and only recently sold and moved somewhere else.
My schedule and routines. School and College provided spaces where there wasn't a whole lot else to focus on.
Video games. everything from the original Mario Brothers to modern titles. and the people that I play them with.
My hobbies. woodworking, costuming, reading, writing, and drawing.
The 405th represents something to me that is really kind of hard to quantify. but it is one of the few spaces that remains for me that still feels just like it did back in 2011.
The 405th to me is Halo almost more than actually officially produced Halo content. people who have taken a passion so much farther than the average fan ever would. A community of people where no matter your walk of life, background, or political leanings had something in common that everyone cared about more.
And despite a Hiatus that I took starting in 2017. mostly due to the bumpy transition of the 405th after it was acquired. I knew it was still somewhere I could come back to. And I did.
I came back here after some of the hardest years of my life, for the community that was built here. A place that fostered and grew a passion in me for something that in 2011 would have been a pipe dream.
and that community is still here. I have been able to do more and be involved in ways that I never would have expected even just a few years ago. And while I know that there has been some grumblings floating around in private messages. the 405th as a community hasn't changed. and that has helped ground me and push me into the present and the future.
I know that this has been a rather long-winded post. But I just wanted to say thank you to everyone that I have interacted with on the site. You might never really know how much this hobby means, and how your interactions can shape people's lives. But really thank you.
I know I am not going anywhere, and I am expecting that I continue to exemplify the community that I have come to respect so much. I know how hard Life can hit and how fast. Hopefully, life for me can slow down a little for a time, but we will have to wait and see what the future holds. There are projects for me to complete, stories for me to write, and people to help grow.
And I cannot wait for what comes next!
Talk to you guys in the next one!
