Taking My Best Friend To Prom, And Seeing If She Likes Me More Than The Current Boyfriend?

[darkesword2020]

My senior Prom is coming up and I've been in a relationship for a month and a bit, but I feel it's coming to that point where it's a dead end. The other day, I spent the evening with my best friend (rachel) and we hung out, and it was me and her friend Haley. We talked about relationships, and she asked about mine because she had noticed the whole facebook status change. I said that I wasn't really in a relationship (as I was unsure whether I was going to keep the current one) and she [under her breath] said that she was "taken".
She said that she was upset she missed her prom, and said that I shouldnt miss mine. From my perspective it seemed like she wanted me to ask her, but I'm not sure. Finally we had dinner and hung out a bit more before we went our respective ways. A few things to note, Rachel is a freshman at our local college in Virginia, I'm a senior in high school, and have always loved Rachel. (If I had to think of a song that explains how I feel about her, it'd be - Inevitable, by Anberlin).
After two hours spent at home, I decided I'd call her; because for the past months, since she'd moved on to college; I'd missed her every single day, wishing we still saw each other on a daily basis. Having dinner with her that day, and seeing her was a blessing to me, because I thought I'd lost her. Seeing her, and spending time with her just made my desire to be with her greater; but, after two hours, I called her and mentioned how she had said I should make sure to not miss prom, and asked if we could go together as friends, and she said of course, but that if I find someone who I'd rather go with (Being that she thinks I'm not dating I suppose), that I should go with them. I want to go with Rachel, and I don't want to lose her, as Rachel is someone I'd easily spend the rest of my life with, and don't want to end up not being able to see her again. I want to get into a relationship with her, but I'd be taking a risk. I figure ask her based on how she reacts to the whole night, but I wanted to pose this to you guys and see what advice you'd give me. And yes, I am going to break up with the current girlfriend, before I do any of this.

I figure I'll see some other opinions before I make a final decision as to what I should do, I just honestly want Rachel in my life, day to day.



What would you guys do?

 

[bald cactus v2]

Well man, if I were you, I would just go with what feels right.

 

[alexleo]

Okay....
Um...
I have no experience with this subject whatsoever, so I'm just going to say, Go where your heart takes you. It may be right, it may be wrong, but do what you think is right.

 

[Texan2012]

All I can say is that you better think this through COMPLETLY before you make your move. This could either turn out excellent or go nuclear on you. Wiegh your options and the possible consequences.

 

[Hellbringer17]

I'm in a similar situation, but the girl i like does not have a bf and her party is this Friday....dud i am just liek you. She is my friend and i have the same feelings that you do, but i don't know what i should do Im completely lost.

 

[darkesword2020]

Here's some advice, my friend gave me, what's your take on this guys?


Steve
Question 1: You aren't planning on wearing your trooper armor to prom, are you?
2: What are the indicators that your current relationship is at an end?
3: The Fact that this other girl said yes to your prom is a huge indicator about her feelings for you.
What do you know of her current relationship?
Has been been going for a while?
Use the prom night as a chance to show her how you are as a person and judger her reactions to you.
Then base your actions on that.


11:26am
Fitzgerald
Ok

In answer to question 1: No, of course not.

2: She's too clingy and overprotective

11:27am
Steve
Have you talked to her about it?

11:27am
Fitzgerald
Her, being current girlfriend?

11:27am
Steve
Yes

11:28am
Fitzgerald
I've mentioned it, and she immediately stopped talking to me

I found out about 3 weeks in

and number 3, I know little, just that she's "taken"

but that it's never been official

and she doesn't consider it being taken

11:29am
Steve
Then make the prom night matter to both you and her
Go all out
Schedule a Nice dinner

11:29am
Fitzgerald

limo, corsage, tux, etc..etc dinner

11:29am
Steve
Have plans OTHER than Prom

11:29am
Fitzgerald

what usually happens at prom, being that i've never went...

11:30am
Steve
No, I mean make prom night only a small part of the overall evening
You have to make yourself out to be 110% better than who she is with

11:31am
Fitzgerald

yeah, even though i dont know much about the guy

what usually happens on a prom day/night?

11:31am
Steve
Then consider him to be Capt. Awesome and you have to be better

11:31am
Fitzgerald
like what would be the best prom night i could make ...happen?

11:32am
Steve
Where is prom taking place?

11:32am
Fitzgerald
sheraton premiere
in tysons

11:32am
Steve
Can you schedule some other romantic evening? Moonlit walk along the river?
Take every romantic movie you have ever seen and roll them into one night
Light up the Empire state building with a heart sort of thing
If you really feel this way for this girl, ramp it up to show her you are the one
have a gift ready too, like a charm necklace that is specific to you

11:34am
Fitzgerald

Well, here..one sec

this is the info for it

Tue, Mar 10, 2009 -- PROM Tickets! 
Prom tickets are coming! 

Prom information: June 12, 2009 at the Sheraton Premiere at Tyson's Corner, from 9pm to 1am.

Tickets will cost $60 per person, which includes a prom favor and a 5x7 prom photo portrait from Blanton Studios (additional portrait photo packages will be sold at the dance itself).

Ticket sales will begin on May 27 and will go until June 8. NOTE: No tickets will be sold after June 8!!!!

i kinda wanna play her favorite song...dunno how to make that happen

Later in the evening, you need to find a nice Romantic place (away from the prom) And you have her song set up there, Boom box, Cell phone etc. Ask her for one last dance, Then Cue the song.

11:38am
Fitzgerald

that would be really nice

how would you be able to help me with that?



load it onto my phone as an mp3?

11:38am
Steve
The idea was what I was talking about

11:38am
Fitzgerald
ahh

11:38am
Steve
Yeah If your Phone can play MP3's in speaker mode
That's perfect

11:38am
Fitzgerald
yep it can
loudly too

11:39am
Steve
If not, have a Boom Box set up in advance
Cool

11:39am
Fitzgerald
louder than most phones out there

11:39am
Steve
Perfect then
Scope out a good location, does she have a favorite spot?

11:39am
Fitzgerald
she likes the rain
so anywhere with a fountain which is nowhere near our school
although i could drive us

11:40am
Steve
You need to think bigger Picture

11:40am
Fitzgerald
but some of the spirit of the night may dissappear

11:40am
Steve
You have all of DC available to you

11:40am
Steve
Not to mentin, if you are at Tysons, you are not far from Great Falls
11:41am
Fitzgerald

Yeah, i keep forgetting we're at tysons

yeah, i know


11:42am
Fitzgerald
Yep

You have time, find some good locations near Tysons

Steve
Find a good Charm Necklace
Plan out your evening

11:42am
Fitzgerald

mainly one with her name on it, right?
yeah

11:43am
Steve
She knows her name
She needs to look at it and instantly think of you
Ok
Lets try this
How Geeky is she?

11:43am
Fitzgerald
here...how about i tell you some things about her

11:43am
Steve
She must be pretty geeky if she like s a guy in Armor

11:43am
Fitzgerald
how do ya know she likes me?

11:43am
Steve
She said yes right?

11:44am
Fitzgerald
yeah thats true
well here
she likes getting lost
likes playing in the rain
to her, life is sorta like a big dance party
she doesnt like wearing shoes, and wears white t-shirts most of the time
she wants to go to alaska
favorite animal is a moose
very spontaneous
loves photos

11:45am
Steve
What do you have in common?

11:45am
Fitzgerald
well we're both spontaneous , and fun
we both like to just go and do stuff
we're both levelheaded most of the time

11:46am
Steve
Has she been to a Con, does she like the same geeky stuff as you?

11:46am
Fitzgerald
no to the con
and doesnt mind star wars, lord of the rings, pirates, but she's more likely to dress up as a "cat" than a stormtrooper or a pilot

Steve
I am just thinking you need to make the charm on the necklace something that pertains to you, that she likes about you
Like, for example, if she likes that you wear armor, get a little trooper helmet on a chain

11:48am
Fitzgerald
she loves the band anberlin

11:48am
Steve
See what I mean?

11:48am
Fitzgerald
Yeah

Steve
So when she see's that charm, she thinks of you
but it has to be something that she likes about you

Fitzgerald
i think if there was one thing she likes about me, is that i'm always there for her
that would be the first thing id say

Steve
It would help if it was more tangible

11:50am
Fitzgerald
yeah

11:50am
Steve
you have time, think on it

11:50am
Fitzgerald
some of her favorite movies - bring it on, saved, blazing saddles, beetlejuice, fast times at ridgemont high, detroit rock city, tank girl, biodome, casablanca, singing in the rain
those are the ones i know offhand

11:51am
Steve
Like I said, you have time.

11:51am
Fitzgerald
yeah
dont rush it, dont take too long
thank you so much steve

11:51am
Steve
No problem
Good Luck!

11:52am
Fitzgerald

thanks


What do you guys think, based on what your reading above would be the best way to make the evening perfect, and what sorta items would be good for a charm necklace?

 

[Seno Ypsamee]

In my personal opinion, if she really is your best friend, I'd keep it that way for now. If you do go and something happens, then you two may never be friends again. Even if you do go, and you two end up getting together and something happens, same ending, you two may never talk again. Is finding out if she likes you and all really worth giving up a friendship?

 

[darkesword2020]

In my personal opinion, if she really is your best friend, I'd keep it that way for now. If you do go and something happens, then you two may never be friends again. Even if you do go, and you two end up getting together and something happens, same ending, you two may never talk again. Is finding out if she likes you and all really worth giving up a friendship?

Right, but the chances that I'll see her are one in a million if I don't take her with me to prom after that...

I don't want to lose her again.

 

[Trooper Cooper]

Do what you want, and regret it afterwards!

You'll only bitch yourself out afterwards for not doing it and you'll bitch yourself out for doing it and cocking it up, or you'll be insanely happy. 1 in 3 chance of victory, and the other two, you can't win.

FYI, I give the worst advice ever.

 

[abrant3]

In my experience, which is pretty extensive, I've learned not to throw effort after foolishness. You're both at a cross roads in your life. Just about to graduate high-school, move off to college, make new friends, and start a career. Your life can change in an instant, and so can hers. So, don't get all bent out of shape about making the "right" decision, because if you're not married, it doesn't really matter. Be respectful to all women, yes, but don't let them consume your life at this point. This "decision" is not going to effect your life in the long run.

I've been married for 2 years now, and would lay my life down for my wife because she's my WIFE. But, when you're talking about taking a friend to prom? Do it man! If you enjoy her company, and she enjoys yours, why not? But all this "spend the rest of my life with her" talk, you don't know that yet. Your life will change within the blink of an eye. I used to be just like you, man. I had my eye on this girl for a long time, and I was positive I was gonna spend the rest of my life with her. But then I graduated high-school, moved to college, started my career, moved to Nashville, and met an AMAZING girl who was WORLDS better than that chick I had a crush on, and got married. And I'll tell you what, it was NOTHING like I expected. My life changed in an instant. And I'm very, very content with that, now. I would have been miserable if I was with the chick before.

So in a nut-shell, have fun in these crucial times of your life where things are going to change, be respectful to all women, but don't let them run your life.

 

[spaz47]

My prom is coming up and I asked two girls. The first one said "well I just got out of a relationship and il just go with my friends." The other said "I just want to go Stag and go with a group of people."

IT SSSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSS

 

[MsCommanderFluffy]

well in my opinbion other than going across and slipping that long text read... ask her to come to your prom cause she missed hers. you can go as friends. she'll enjoy it. have a nice dinner, maybe sugest a movie if the prom get dull or boreing, then if theres a river near by or something take a walk with her near it. find a park and i dunno swing on the swings... try and pick out stars from the sky and just talk about anything. school or work or relationships. even your armor and say that you like makeing it. if shes into you she wont freak out. also dont stay long on the armor discussions. ask about her whats new in her life and such... all that good stuff... by theres no need to dress up too much (especially on her part some dresses can be huge.. something simple is fine) but sugest and mention you could go otherplaces during the night cause its alot better. also over the time your talking she will open up to you usually. so try that out.

remember if you ask her to go to prom with you say "you missed your prom and your dont want me to miss mine why dont you join me that evening and have some fun? eh how about it?" that kinda thing. well thats my say byes!

 

[Spawn Camp3r]

"all is fair in love and war" you may not think it, but it's true. What you do to someone will usually come back at you, good or bad. IMHO though you might ask about her relationship as a friend, and if she is truly happy with the person she is with, then it might just be safer or more respect full to look elsewhere in the world in terms of love.

 

[Slimguy379]

lol guy. women right? ya know i m in a pickle along with you. prom... i have a gal friend that i wanted to go to prom with but she was snagged before i was able to talk to her about going. shes going with a guy who shes not interested in but rather to not go alone, yet another year. now personally i see this as a 1/2 full, 1/2 empty situation. since were in highschool the obviously is going to be an after party. ill end up taking her there and be with her then. we have been friends for awhile, and gotta say if she can put up with me, then shes worth fighting for. but not to detract from your issue, but hint things about hypothedicals about being with her. if she digs you then there wont be any objection to answering or adding to the hypotheticals. i was thinking earlier of putting a post of girls who somehow are cooler than most girls and accept us for who we are, (the geeks within) but gotta say if she does the butterfly thing like my gal does,...dude go for it. heres a pic of my gal. remember guys not all girls are shallow

 

[darkesword2020]

Ok, so you'll be as surprised as I am, but

Rachel's best friend just told me she's (she being Rachel) gay. SINCE WHEN? I've known her for 8 years, and she's dated probably 3 or 4 guys in that time. NO way is that even remotely possible, I still wanna be with her, but now I don't know what the heck to think... I don't really believe it.



Should I still bother? She said she wanted to go, and when I asked what she was gonna wear (before I found out the bad news), she said we should go to the store together and match our tux/dress combo she said she wanted to plan the evening together too.

I think if anything there's the possibility she might not be sure, but thats if "anything."

What's your guys' take?

 

[Slimguy379]

i might believe it,.... but not positively. work her over to sill the beans. and if she asks as to why you ask her questions about her sexuality it may oen for a great time to tell her about your intentions with you and her... finally get it out there... remember just suggestions. good luck bro we all need it

 

[Adam]

if you are her best friend, she'd probably have told you if she was gay. Perhaps she is, perhaps her friend is trying to let you off without hurting your feelings.... better ask rachel.

 

[Hellbringer17]

Hey guys i am in need of advice too


The girl i like has invited me to her Sweet 16 party and i'd like to dance with her. the problem is, she's always with friends and I can'r get her alone, plus i kinda don't wannna do it on the big night cause im sure she will look great and I won't be able to speak and work up the courage to say it.

I don't know what to do

 

[darkesword2020]

Hey guys i am in need of advice too
The girl i like has invited me to her Sweet 16 party and i'd like to dance with her. the problem is, she's always with friends and I can'r get her alone, plus i kinda don't wannna do it on the big night cause im sure she will look great and I won't be able to speak and work up the courage to say it.

I don't know what to do

I'll give you some advice, but let's not use my thread for that.

Contact me via AIM messenger:

DarkeSword2020

 

[rowan]

From what you've said about her it sounds like she might consider you as more than a friend. The only piece of advice i can give is that this could be the one perfect chance to get to find out how she really feels. You mate steve's idea for what to do seems pretty damn good, so go with that
If your one or her closest friends she would have told you if she was gay, especially since your one her closest male friends, if someone's gay they would probably feel more compfortable talking to someone of the opposite sex about it.