(Please lock) :)

[Trando434]

Hey i don't usually bother posting about my personal problems and such, and i would rather stick to everyone not knowing about my life, but I need some help and I'd rather not post on Yahoo answers for fear of people I know reading it and catching on so here is the first shot before I do that!

My girlfriend of three months broke up with me about a month ago, after she got back from a week in Texas for the All American Marching Band. She basically said that she really wasn't interested in a relationship at that point, but since we have been the best of friends since freshman year, we both agreed that we would still stay friends, and we are, in fact we hang out nearly twice as much as we did when we were dating, and I'll won't be the first to admit that the friend zone sucks Well I'd figure I would give it a month or two to think about asking her out again, but before I even asked her about it she started to tell me about a couple guys (that she really doesn't like btw) who tried asking her out but she told them that she really doesn't want a relationship right now. I know she isn't being independant to be strong, but I know that she really doesn't want a relationship with anyone at this point! We are really really close friends, and I don't want to ruin that by making a mistake and making her believe that all I care about is just dating her, because that's not the reason, I really like her, but since we are both seniors and going to colleges 3 hours apart, I know that any relationship now would be kinda pointless. I'll admit that it was my first relationship, but it ended soon and I didn't want to do anything bad with her, and we were both extremely mature for being high school teenagers and took the breakup very well. Should I just hold off, or do you think I should bring it up when we have more free time in the summer? or just give your input please don't judge me or anything, I just feel like I had to ask someone discreetly for help.

 

[Pipinacan]

My advice, take what she tells you seriously, if she isn't looking for a relationship, then she probably isn't. Remain friends with her if that's what YOU want to do, but don't do it over a hope to get back together with her. Take some time for yourself, and only hang out with her if it doesn't make you miss her.

Also, sometimes a little distance can help you with the wanting to go out with her again stuff. Remember, you're going to be 3 hours away, at two different colleges, with tons of other people. Not everybody decides they want the same thing after they've been out of high school for a while.

I advise you to keep it at a friend thing for a while longer, she's going to have to want the same thing as you for you two to get back together.

ALSO, this forum isn't used as a relationship problem helper.....LOL

 

[CoolC]

I am not going to judge who you are, but I'm sure you realized that this is the wrong forum to ask.

I have been married for more than 14 years with three kids, so I can say I am qualified to put in.my two cents. I had been in a few relationships but they were short term. When I was in college I was never involved in a relation, which was a good thing. I was able to focus on my education.

You have to understand one thing about relationship between man and woman. They are either friends only, or lovers only. There is no in between.

You still care for your first love, which I understand. If she doesn't care about taking the next step you should move on. It is unlikely she will ever go back to you. Waiting and trying to be best friends and hope she will change her mind will only drive you crazy. What you should do right now is let her go, stop seeing her and stop talking to her. You need to tell her that you still care for her and it hurts you more than hurt her to stop seeing her. It is tough on you that you can see her but you can't touch her. Your only choice is stop caring for her and you want to open your choices for someone else.

You are still young. Focus on finishing up your college and get a good job. If you have the real qualities that women are looking for you should not be concerned with finding anyone. Trust me I was on the same boat but I trusted God and I knew he would show me the path. All I can is he worked his miracle, and here I am today.

 

[Trando434]

Alright that really makes a lotta sense, and ya i kinda realized that this was the wrong place after I posted :/ but that makes a lotta sense from both of you, I think that the advice is gonna help Thank you! now could someone lock the thread? I just needed some insight

 

[23Magnum]

My advice for your age: don't bother with commited relationships. Keep things casual with anyone until you're about 25. Focus on family, friends, education, finances, and most importantly what YOU want out of life. You're still rather young to know what it is you want but focus on it none the less. The right woman should show up somewhere along the way.

As for this current 'distraction', cut all ties. It's more trouble and brain power than it's worth.

Oh and closed.