Here's a good one I heard at school the other day:
Two women die and go to heaven, when they get there god tells them to be happy and enjoy themselves, but to never, ever, step on a white duck. So needless to say when they walk through the pearly gates, there are ducks everywhere. After about the first day, the first woman accidently steps on a duck, all of a sudden the ugliest man she has ever seen appears and god tells her she must live with him for the rest of her time in heaven. Scared out of her wits, the other woman is very careful and does not step on a duck for a long time. Then one day, the most beautiful man she has ever seen appears and god tells her she gets to spend the rest of her time in heaven with him. One day they are sitting together the woman asks the man, " So, how did you find me?" He replies, "Well I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"